Dedicated to My Freinds

I am not sure why it came into my mind about the concept of this specific blog. I was traveling from Hyderabad to Bangalore in a state run bus service and I was trying my level best to kill all the mosquitoes around my seat like a warrior who killed his enemies in a serious battle. It was around 12.00AM and I was listening to some soothing telugu songs in my full loaded Sansa (remember this) as well as the snoring of my fellow passenger and suddenly it strike in my mind about friends starting from my child hood.. Primary school, Secondary school,engineering college...previous organization…and present organization….

Awesome!!  I felt this is as an awesome idea to spend my time for next 7hours… (Generally I won’t get sleep in Bus Journey)

I took my high-fi Samsung mobile (SGH-700) and started googling about friendship, even though my hopeless mobile doesn’t have very good screen resolution to view but with my four eyes I captured the data exactly what I was looking for. So after 1hours of tedious browsing on friend ship, friend ship quotes, and small friendship stories…..I felt that, still there is a vacuum to satisfy myself in this subject. So I decided to write a blog on friend ship…that’s it !! 

I woke up very early in the morning (11.00AM) on next weekend and started writing this blog…Now let us see what I feel…and what is truth

“Friendship is bullshit and friends are A..H…” this is what I wrote in my diary on 24th March 2003,I still didn’t remembered why I wrote it, may be some of my friend pissed me of sooo much, that being  a very laziest guy in doing good things I spend some time to write it in my diary.

But now things changed…me as well.

Recently I read The Godfather and in one of the context Godfather says “…..Friendship is everything. Friendship is more than talent. It is more than government. It is almost the equal of family. Never forget that”. Utterly an awesome statement and in fact it is true.

Let’s see what is mean by a friend, Most of the people don’t know the definition, including me. That doesn’t mean that we are not suppose to do the friendship but for the matter of subject we need to start with a definition. So the best definition of friend I got is “

A friend is a tender shoulder
on which to softly cry
a well to pour your troubles down
and raise your spirits high

So for time being we will remember this meaning.

Let us see about engendering of friends. In our life we meet so many people during school, tuitions, college, travel, shopping, office….where not?. And if we are maintain the  contact with them for some time over the period after our first meeting then we will recognize them with a ranking called friend.

Now you know the meaning of friend (as above), But do you impose the same to all of your so called FRIENDS??  Without any hesitation I can say NO.

So there is problem either in the meaning of friend or in our selves of defining the friend.  It is absolutely the second one.

A friend is just not someone to whom you say "Hello".

But what is friend then??  “ Let me excavate about it”.

Forget about the meaning of friend, which I mentioned above. Now I will try to define the friend from my experience with them during my schoolS, collegeS and officeS.

Before going into details, at a first cut, I can say that Friends in our life are very similar to the citizens in a perfect democratic country. They will have a lot of freedom on you. They can irritate you, torture you, made you cry or laugh, will piss you off to max extent as well they make you happy till peak.

Before I start describing about them I can say that I have three kinds of friends.

Friends, good friends and best friends. (Don’t think that I am good at English grammar by seeing the comparative degrees here – good, better, best)

A best example I can find to describe these three kinds  is -

Friends are the one whom you can call only in the morning to say good morning- right word at right time with no freedom = RRN

Good friends are the one whom you can call in the afternoon (just) to say good morning – right word at wrong time with a little freedom = RWL

Best friends are the one to whom you call at early in the morning (01.00AM) to say Good night!! Wrong word at wrong time with full freedom = WWF

What I am trying to tell here is, the intensity of friendship can be determined by the amount of freedom you have as well the belief you have on counterpart.

Don’t take this example AS IT IS but concept of freedom and belief I specified above really works. Check it out.

Now let me explain in detail about Three Kinds -

Friends are the one who are like an add-on to the life. One can feel their existence if they are, but will not sense the extinction if they aren’t. While travelling in a train/bus you will get a friend who is a fellow passenger with whom you will discuss many things (personal, social, political…) and when you reach your destination you will get down from the trains and continue journey in next train/bus. You will never feel the absence of that fellow passenger (except some exceptional cases) when you took the bus for next journey. Those are friends. Or maybe they are your schoolmates, classmates, colleagues with whom you always maintain a very limited approach and you won’t feel much about them and sometimes you don’t even save their numbers in mobile. There is nothing much to talk about these folks.

Good friends are the one who are really good to you. With whom you will reciprocate a formal way of approach at every perspective and scene. You will behave diligently while impending with them and you will use your intelligence during your every conversation. May be the age /Gender factor if any or the ideology differences will avoid the synchronization between them to become best friends. You are comfortable in exchanging any kind of help and will feel unwind in discussing any personal issues. But you always share a vacillating boundary, which neither of them will cross. An existence of vacuum will always be identified between them. And they will barter restricted freedom with fewer beliefs on each other.

And finally the best friends are literally part of your life. There are no procedures or approaches regarding how you will behave with your best friends. You will not found boundaries in the way you are talking with them, you will think after you talk but not vice versa. An immensely serious problem will also be treated as an element of mockery. No boundaries, no vacuum, no restrictions but they share only freedom. Exchanging of sorrow and happiness, personal and professional issues, career and life even internet banking passwords.. … and what not??  There are no plastic smiles and embarrassing moments. They barter the full set of freedom and belief on each other.

Consider that best friends may not ask formal well being questions like…how are you? , how do you do? But they always insist the same.

Now come to my situation -

I can say without second thought that, I have few friends a nice list of good friends and scores of best friends.

There is nothing much to talk about friends as I said earlier.

Comes to good friends,

I have one who can loan me a good amount of bucks in spite of his grand profits in stock market. Great!!

I have one who can take a half-day leave from his cruel boss to let it complete the small help I asked over the phone before night. Awesome!!

I have one who can run after all his friends over a course of months to complete my personal project assigned to him. Excellent!!

I have the one who can stretch himself to work over time in office so as to help me in my busy project work. Outstanding!!

I have the one who has the guts to send his expensive credit card and beloved mp3 player through a courier. Oh My God !!

I have the one who can catch my courier at 2.00 AM in the morning by travelling 10kms in cold winter to deliver the same to other friend. Exceptional!!

I really feel good about it.

People may think that I am judging the friendship based upon the work I am getting from them. But I feel that you will ask a favor only if you have a freedom & belief on your friend. In above contest, you can replace “I have the one who can” with “I have a friend whom I can ask “.

I can give u a simple example here, If you are in a new place and you are searching for an address, so you will ask a stranger for a little help in guiding the location. But if you find one of your close friend at same location you won’t mind asking him to take that address.

Why the Difference in approach??

Because you have a freedom & you believe that he (close friend) will do that.

Finally comes to the best friends of mine.

It may sounds weird if I say that “I have no words to explain about my BEST friends”, But in fact it is a FACT.I will not emphasis too much here and I will try to restrict myself as less as possible, because if I need to put my thought here, maybe I need spend a month typing the whole stories.

These are the people who are really best in class folks whom I know till now.

If you combine all the characters of “I have the one who can…” (As above) and you will ended with these guys.

These are the guys who stood with me during the toughest times in my career.

These are the folks who share a considerable portion of my success, if I feel any.

These are the lads who are really good with me even though I am not.

These are people who have lot of confidence on my more than what I have on myself.

In a book of my life every important page has a significant piece of place for them.

They are cool, awesome, wonderful and perfect.

Rather than giving fundas here if I would like to share some examples …so I will feel satisfied to end up this blog.

Recently one of my friend called me asking for some money at around 10.00PM, I remembered, I told that I have some important personal commitment (not too critical one in fact) so I will not able to arrange the money. To my surprise he sent me 10k in next morning considering my situation. I am not sure which word to use as an exclamatory here – shocked, impressed. Surprises, amused….. I don’t know.

I will end this blog with below last statements –

There are whole lot of nice experiences I came across with friends but just because of restrictions to type, I couldn’t’ pt all those on paper. Guys-There is no procedure to follow regarding how to deal with friends. Friend can become good friend and good friend can become a best friend, it is a matter of time and LUCK as well. My only sincere suggestion/request here is friendship is a splendid experience, so be prepare with your mind & heart to attain as much affection as from it.

That’s it Friendship is the matter of freedom &  belief.

I suddenly remembered one quote, which I saw it in Apr 29, 2002 during my engineering entrance examination in one of the class room of government TTC College, Warangal; it says “Friendless life is a moon less night”

Yeah…absolutely correct.

Each commend & Every Word mentioned in this blog is dedicated to my Good & Best friends….

Note: Above I sued “I, YOU, WE” where ever applicable so as t make the sentence more generic rather than personal.